High On ‘Lois’

when cartoonists stop caring.

Archive for the ‘teh moviez’ Category

Friday? More like TWOiday… okay, maybe not.

Posted by The Author on May 1, 2009

Happy Mayday!  Happy First Day of the Summer Blockbuster Season!

Hi and Lois, 5/1/09

5/1/09

Yeah, Chip, and that way you can kill the earth twice as fast and make twice as much noise!  BRAP!

There is someone on my block (who shall remain nameless, but it may be my neighbor) who cuts their grass upwards of three times a week.  Like, every other day.  As a result, their lawn often looks like a patch of Astroturf.  The color is also pretty close to the sickly, muted lime-green we’re seeing in today’s strip.  Noice!*

I tried mowing the lawn once.  Well, it wasn’t by choice.  My daddy made me put on close-toed shoes and try manuvering the mower along the most uneven part of our property.  It was a tad difficult (read: impossible), considering that: 1) it was the absolute first time I was doing it, 2) our mower is ridiculously heavy and one needs the strength of a thousand Ancient Egyptians to budge it a couple of inches, and 3) I don’t even break 5′ 4″ on a good day.  So, needless to say, I had the priviledge taken away from me in less than three minutes.

And now, our blast from the past!! Er, yeah.

Hi and Lois, 4/24/09

4/24/09

Hmm, maybe I should have included this one in yesterday’s post.  H&L does seem to talk about movies a lot, doesn’t it?  Anyhoozle.  Chip, dear, even if you were going to two films in the same night (which I would call a “bad idea”), it wouldn’t cost forty dollars.  Maybe twenty-five or so.  Are you going on a Friday?  That is your first mistake.  Well, no, it’s your second mistake; suggesting you see two movies is the first.  Why don’t you just sneak into another theater after the first flick has concluded?  You’re supposed to be a badass slacker, after all.  Do I have to tell you everything? How long have you been a teenager??

Another question: which movie will they see first?  Perilous World Situation (With ‘Splosions), or Girl Meets Boy Initial Attraction Misunderstanding Cheerful Conclusion Happily Ever After?  I wouldn’t trust that girl as my date.  She’s gabbing away on her cell phone as Chip negotiates funds for the evening.  And she’s either not wearing shoes or has knee-high pink Uggs.  Which is worse?

*Almost didn’t add this footnote!  It means “nice”, in case ya didn’t know.

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Mutant High and Lois. Ahaha!

Posted by The Author on April 30, 2009

Hi and Lois, 4/29/09

4/29/09

At first I read “cigar” as “cigarette” which is considerably… worse?  Better?  Cigars seem to be more “socially acceptable” as an addiction, and seen as something that people smoke only once in a while — not constantly, one after another. Trixie would have found several, if not dozens, of cigarette butts.  But cigars?  Preeow!  That’s a tough, portly man’s smoke.  And Mr. T is a tough, portly man.  Wait, I mean a drunkard.

What other “messy habits” does Mr. T have that need to be kept on that side of the fence?  Splatterball?  Donkey mud-wrestling?  Ritual animal sacrifices?  Hey, as long as you keep them off our grass, I’ll look the other way.

Hi and Lois, 4/30/09

4/30/09

I’m sort of stunned at how popular the X-Men franchise has turned out to be.  The first one came out, what, 2000?  Now we’ve got three other movies, one of which is about the Wolverine guy.  And later we’ll have X-Men Origins: Magneto, and then X-Men: First Class (which I guess will be about mutant algebra, because that was always my first class, minus the mutant part).

I would be fine with all of this if the trailer for Wolverine didn’t look like a parody.  A happy couple living on a farm: “I love you!”  Then someone blows up their barn with a missile.  Then Wolverine clutches his dead lady-friend and yells NOOOOO at the sky.  Are they for serious?

But I digress.  Yes, the summer blockbuster season is getting longer, it seems.  What a funny joke!  Oh, wait.

Hi and Lois, 4/19/09

4/19?

This is the Sunday H&L from a few weeks ago.  Kind of goes with our X-Menery, so I thought I’d include it.  When I first saw this strip, I spent about fifteen minutes trying to figure it all out.

Our throw-away panels: baseball, again!  Do people really memorize baseball stats?  Why do you need to know them?  Why can’t you just carry around a little book if it’s so important?  What are they teaching our children these days?  Arglebargle.

The Superhero Analogy is actually pretty clever, though it wouldn’t really be any help to me personally.  Firstly, Hi is mixing Roman gods with Greek gods.  Sure, they’re the same gods with different names, but Odysseus is going to look at you funny if you start referencing Jupiter and Minerva instead of Zeus and What’s-Her-Name.  He’s also picking characters from the DC and Marvel universes, which just complicates things even further.

Sub-Mariner…?  I have never heard of him.  If you say to me, “Underwater Superhero”, I would say to you: Aquaman!  But anyway.

Hi is reading from Bulfinch’s Mythology, which I think is a pretty nice touch.  Do they really teach from a 154-year-old book in school’s nowadays?  Don’t they use the Inter-Tubes or whatever?  It’s been a while since I was in the public school system.

‘Nuff for today.

Posted in crossed arms, google-eyes, pop culture, teh moviez | 4 Comments »