High On ‘Lois’

when cartoonists stop caring.

Archive for the ‘golf’ Category

“Golf is a good walk spoiled.”

Posted by The Author on May 16, 2009

Wooo!  Saturday!  Now that I work for most of the week*, getting an actual “weekend” in terms of “time off” makes me feel like a grownup.  It also makes me tired, and while writing an entry for my Comix Blog isn’t the last thing I want to be doing, it certainly isn’t the first.  But, ah, I am trying to be more consistent.  And if I don’t do it now, I’ll have to do it later.  So, buckle up; it’s time for H&L Hee-Larity.

Hi and Lois, 5/16/09

5/16/09

I am not a middle-aged American white man (as you may have noticed), so I don’t play golf.  And because of that, I don’t get the joke in today’s comic.  So, as a life-long learner, I looked up the term “scratch golfer”, which is apparently is a golfer whose handicap is zero.  Oh, that clears it up!  I’m lying, of course; if anything, it raises more questions.  What is this “handicap” of which you speak?  How does one determine a  handicap?  Is it anything like in Halo when you can set someone’s health 600% higher to level the playing field because they suck so bad?  Perhaps.  So!  Tom’s a scratch golfer, is he?  That bastard.  I guess that makes Mr. T a bogey.  Or something.  I have to consult my notes.

But don’t despair, Mr. T!  Things aren’t as bad as they seem!  Sure, Scratchman Tom can shoot a perfect golf game and has a spiffy little visor and a fruity little golf-glove.  But he doesn’t have your dissatisfied marriage and rampant alcoholism!  Oh, wait.

Title comes from — who else? — Mark Twain.

*Take a shot!

Posted in drunkeness, golf | Leave a Comment »

Tell your children

Posted by The Author on March 6, 2009

Hi and Lois, 3/7/09

H&L, 3/7/09

Buh?

Why is Hi so gleeful in panel one and horrified in panel two?  I mean, he can obviously see right from the start that his alcoholic neighbor is standing in a stolen sandbox full of marijuana, whacking hard-boiled eggs with a golf club.  That is the kind of “grass” we’re talking about, right?  Because nothing else can explain this kind of behavior.

Posted in "quotes", drugs, golf | Leave a Comment »