High On ‘Lois’

when cartoonists stop caring.

Archive for the ‘current events’ Category

Happy Confederate Memorial Day!

Posted by The Author on May 11, 2009

I have to leave for work in a little less than an hour* so for now I am just going to cover the weekend strips and take on today’s later.  If you can’t wait that long (and honestly, when it comes to H&L, who can wait?) check out Josh’s wise observations in today’s CC post.  I assure you, my own snark will be just as amazing (I hope).

Without further ado: Teh Muvvers’ Day Comix!

Hi and Lois, 5/9/09



Funny; this is what my mom usually wants for Mother’s Day, too.  I mean, except with her own kids, not Lois’s.  Or maybe both; I’m not sure.

Hi and Lois, 5/10/09


Nothin’ like taking a three-panel comic and spreading it thin over the Sunday format!  Well, at least this way we have more of a chance to admire the artwork and the strange goings-on inside this Connecticut diner.  Would I want to eat breakfast with this family?  Sadly, no.  Chip is listening to his Walkman (trust me, it’s a Walkman, not a new-fangled iPod — unless someone doesn’t know how to depict one) while Ditto solicits the baseball apparel-clad youth in the next booth (I still haven’t found any kids with that level of enthusiasm for baseball — are comics children a different breed?) and Hi raises the kids’ hopes for a fantastic homemade breakfast that will never come, thowing them into a state of shock, like Dot in the second-to-last panel.  You know why you never get this at home, Chip?  Because Mother is dead tired by nine AM and all she can manage to do it throw a couple of bowls of cereal on the table and call it a day.  Four children?!  What was she thinking?!

Anyhoozle.  Whilst I enjoy breakfast out on occasion, I don’t think I’d do it on Mother’s Day morning.  What is it about Mother’s Day and breakfast/brunch?  Why isn’t it traditionally a drinking holiday?  I have so many questions, but alas, I must leave you.  Happy Belated You-Know-What Day.  I love you, O Mother of Mine.

*Take a shot every time I mention that I have a job now!


Posted in baseball, current events, google-eyes | 6 Comments »

Maybe you should have bought FLOOD INSURANCE!

Posted by The Author on May 5, 2009

Happy Cinco de Mayo, y’all!  My comrade has informed me that most persons of the Mexican persuasion celebrate on the first Sunday of May, though, so I guess I missed it completely.  But forget about all that. ONE THOUSAND VIEWSSSS, BITCHES!!

Hi and Lois, 5/5/09


…and to celebrate, Depressing Comix!  You know that recession?  It’s still happening!  Ahaha!  You know, if you had saved your money under the mattress instead of in a rickety old bank and dumb ol’ stocks, you mightn’t be in this situation.  What a fool.

Something funny… need something funny… um… Mr. T’s arms are too short!  Ahaha!  Oh, you guys.  Just continued on your merry way to the TIVO store.

Here’s a comic I missed during my period of life-paying-attention-to.*  It’s a bit weird.

Hi and Lois, 4/23/09


I have a few issues.

1) Yes, Ditto, you are too old, when your “superhero underwear” consists of striped shorts, a t-shirt with a logo, a belt, and goddamn slippers.

2) The background in this strip is totally effing nuts.  First panel: are they in the bathroom?  Why is Dot walking in on her brother in the bathroom when he is in his underwear?  Is that a counter top and sink behind them?  The bathtub?  A radiator?  Is that the shower curtain, or some really ugly drapes?  And then in the second panel, everything is different!   I don’t know why I continue to be surprised by that, but I am.

3) Why is Dot walking in on her brother in the bathroom when he is in his underwear.

*Mental health week?  Personal Times?  The correct term evades me.

Posted in current events, munny, mutations, stubbiness syndrome, wtf | 1 Comment »

The April Fool’s that comes in the middle of the month

Posted by The Author on April 14, 2009

So… comics.

Hi and Lois, 4/15/09


Ah-HA!  There’s that second Tax-Time comic I was expecting.  And luckily it’s only funny to accountants!  The first panel is totally superfluous, you know that, don’t you?  I think that should be a new category.  Something like… “two panels, one joke”.  No cups, though.  Ahaha, I hope no one got that one!

Er, Mr. T, I think that if you’re only just now getting around to filing your taxes, on the very day that said taxes are due, then you’re going to have a few problems.  And then the blatant illegal requests.  I like the taxman’s magical desk, though: the sign in the background stays the same, but the tabletop tilts like one of them old-fangled boxes with the maze inside and you have to guide the little ball through.  Okay, that’s a reach, but I couldn’t find a shorter term for such a box, except “Labyrintspel”, and that’s pretty obscure, don’tcha think?

The sketchy, thick-lined artist is back.  And Thurston is blond again.  Manic-Depressive Comix!

Posted in 2 panels 1 joke, current events, munny, mutations, skipped periods | Leave a Comment »

Someone who doesn’t watch sports tries to explain sports-related comix.

Posted by The Author on April 5, 2009

Hi and Lois, 4/5/09


Uh-huh.  What is this fixation all the youngin’s seem to have with baseball?  I have never found the sport to be very interesting.  In fact, I’ve attended a total of maybe two actual games, and was bored silly throughout; I never see it on television, not even by accident.  In contrast, I went to a hockey game recently and was almost never bored: hockey just moves so quickly, and is so fluid, and luck can change in a matter of seconds. Baseball, on the other hand, is more like football, in which there is action for five to ten seconds and then long periods of anguish and waiting and me going argh erhg bah I am so bored.  I still like football better than baseball, though, because guys tackle each other.  Actually, I have found that I kind of enjoy seeing guys tackle each other, no matter what the occassion: football, hockey, boxing, figure skating…  I don’t know what that says about me.

But I digress.  Despite Ditto’s admirable enthusiasm for An Old-Fashioned American Sport (an almost obsessive enthusiasm, I’ll say, considering he’s just going to be sittin’ in his living room watching the telly,), he conks out 1/9th of the way into the game.  There’s something weird and disturbing about the way Hi is cradling his son in the last panel: though sleeping, Ditto is still grinning, clutching a baseball like a wire mother, emitting a single Z from his gaping maw.  And throughout, Lois remains silently bemused.

One hundred and sixty-two games?  Is that even possible?  How many hours of baseball-watching is that?  I am depressed.

Posted in baseball, crossed arms, current events, stubbiness syndrome | 5 Comments »

A Clever, Weather-Related Title

Posted by The Author on March 24, 2009

Dayyyymn, I forgot about making a post, and I just started The Karate Kid.  Already I’ve seen a replica of my childhood laundry basket; I’ve got to pay attention.  Look, a tiny Ralph Macchio! Anyway, here’s today’s horrible comic.

Hi and Lois, 3/25/09


Is this it? This strip looks like it was drawn by a completely different person, doesn’t it? Like, with a brush-pen?  I think so.  Anyhoozle, I can’t freaking tell what sort of political aspirations the creators of this comic have.  Sometimes it’s lefty, sometimes it’s righty… and then today it’s extraordinarily dated.  Look at Chip’s expression.  Even he knows how lame his father is.

Okay, back to my movie!  I leave the funniness to someone else today.

Posted in current events, from the mouths of babes, google-eyes | 1 Comment »

True Life Comix, Part 2

Posted by The Author on March 24, 2009

Hi and Lois, 3/24/09


Ahaha!  See, again, it’s funny because, again, it’s true!  Just like in Part One!  I can’t get a job!  Ahahaha!

Oh, anguish.  I’m not even going to talk about this comic any more today.  Instead, I’d like to briefly turn your attention away from the Depressing World of Hi and Lois and point out a different sort of Non-Joke Comic today.  I figure it’s kind of relevant, since H&L loves the Non-Joke format.

Are y’all familiar with Crankshaft, cousin comic to Funky Winkerbean?  The former runs in my paper; the latter does not, thank God, because I believe I can handle Batuik-induced comas only once per day.  Well, this is the strip that ran yesterday:

Crank, 3/23/09

Ahahaha — oh, wait.  He’s stating something that is completely logical.  The Crank is practicing thrifty behavior in this Troubled Economy.  No bad puns; no charming malapropisms.  I don’t understand.  I don’t understand at all.  Is this supposed to be humor?  Will today’s comic consist merely of an apology?  While the art is always top-notch in Crankshaft (and probably FB too, but hell if I’m going to read that every day), I think this is an example of when Cartoonists Stop Caring when it comes to the execution of story and character and anything at all interesting.

Posted in current events, other comix, skipped periods | 2 Comments »

True Life Comix, Part 1

Posted by The Author on February 27, 2009

*yawn*  Goodness, almost 1pm already?  Might as well read the comics page before breakfast.

Hi and Lois, 2/27/09

H&L, 2/27/09

Haha!  It’s funny because people are going bankrupt in real life!  It’s funny because it’s true!  Hi better stop stuffing gigantic marshmallows in his face with his deformed paw and earn some cash-olas!

I have to get back to job-hunting now. [long, exasperated sigh]

Posted in current events, horror, skipped periods | 1 Comment »